These diary entries will be online for people to discover if they want, and I will occasionally share them with our Dream & Do clients on an email newsletter when we eventually get round to it (we have hopes of it being too good to ever click “unsubscribe”). But mainly these posts are for me.
Here is why. A few months ago my Nana called me and said there was a box of my stuff under her house that I needed to collect. My parents moved house a lot when I was younger, I have had 6 family homes in the 22 years I lived at home. I went to 4 primary schools and luckily only one high-school. As a result we were always packing and unpacking boxes and Mum would make us put all the things we wanted to keep in a box and label it. The ‘Tara’s things’ somehow ended up under my Nana’s house and only just got resurrected. In this box were stacks and stacks of diaries I had kept throughout my years. Earliest one in there was dated back to 1997. Remember the Dolly & Girlfriend Diaries? Well, I got one every year from ‘Santa’ and it was probably my most favourite present as I would write everyone’s in straight away, my goals and aim to religiously write most days. One diary was covered in pink furr. While reading, I actually found myself cringing and blushing at my “lists of boys that asked me out” and the fine print copy marked with an * which read *if you go out with more than 2 boys per year at my school you are considered a slut”, however, it was littered with all of these memories that photos could never have had a chance at capturing. Not only memories, but it was like I was looking back at my old self and I some of it I recognise today and some of it I felt like I was reading the life of a different person! For example “Mum and Dad keep teasing me saying, “Tara you love yourself” as I am always looking in the mirror, but I don’t really care. I love looking in the mirror, pulling faces and playing with my hair.” What?! As I was reading this and feeling embarrassed I realised something. It was so honest. My diary captured my thoughts as they were happening. It was my secret, no-one to judge but me. It was refreshing to read such honesty as these days we share a lot but how much of it is really honest? We choose the best photos of us, we craft our words, google the spelling of things before we post them, post and then edit our post if it sounds funny, hang out for the likes and comments like some love-sick school boy. We judge everything we share because we know people will judge us, why? Because, we judge them. We can’t help it. But diaries. Well, they were a secret between me and myself. However, I was a little naive of the secrecy of these diaries as I have 3 little sisters and I am positive they would have read them, just like they raided my room for my clothes when I left for London. But ho hum. They know me, I am not ashamed of what I wrote. I am so glad I was not ashamed to write those things as they really are a time capsule.
So this recent experience of discovering my old self through diaries has suddenly brought on some (more anxiety). I must capture my feelings, my thoughts, my life, as it is now and do so with honesty. It sounds so corny but I have never felt so ‘on purpose’ as I have felt right now having started Dream & Do. This company is me. My mum calls it ‘my first baby’ and it really is. Things are changing rapidly and I don’t want to forget this journey. More importantly, I don’t want to remember it through a filtered lense. I don’t want it to have good grammar and backlinks and rank well on google and drive traffic, convert to subscribers and lahadelahdelah.
So Diary. Please accept my absence over the last decade. The next decade is going to be a crazy ride and I need you back in my life. This is my reflection without ego. Is it ironic that I am sharing this? See there is the judging, I’m scared. But screw it, I believe in honesty and it is the only way to truly remember.
Love your sentimental self.
Here's what the Dream Team have been up to in September!
We also welcomed new team members Nadia, Rachel and Beau. The Dream Team is growing fast!
Renata also went to see the founders of Frank Body and wrote about it here.
This month, we've welcomed 7 new clients on board. Read about some of our existing clients here...
We had the best catch-up with our old neighbours, from Two Blokes with a Postie - on their new office rooftop!